I wrote a post months ago about coming to terms with being a redhead, and I received a good deal of feedback on it.  As a matter of fact, I recently received a new comment on the post from a 14-year old girl named Jordan. She says:

Heyy,
i love your article, because i can relate soo much.
But unlike you, i still havent excepted it.
i'm only 14 years old, and at school you get teased soo much, not by the girls or some of the boys, but a selected few who think its funny. I don't know, i want to dye my hair soo bad but i know when i do it'll look dumb and i wont go back to the way it was.
I don't think i look bad with it but when on a regular basis i get called stupid names its just annoying considering theres ONLY like 2 redheads in my entire school.
I wish they would stop calling me like ginger, fireman, and etc.
i use to have a great amount of confidence but now everytime someone says something like that a small part chips away. My mom, family, and friends all tell me i'll love it when i'm older and they wish they had it to but honestly i bet you if they had it, they'd wish they didn't, like me. Sorry to be a bummer but its just they way it is.
thanks.

I was very glad that Jordan took the time to find my post and comment.  I hope reading my story helps her to know that it will get better.  My heart broke when I read that her self-esteem has been affected by the teasing she's received.  Confidence and self-worth are a struggle for many women, and for adolescent girls, it's even more of an issue.

On a brighter note, I received an earlier comment on this post from a 17-year old young woman named Amanda who had already come to love and appreciate her difference.  What a wonderful thing to know that she has begun the journey to self-acceptance!

First off, i'm only 17...but I look and act really mature for my age

Growing up as the only bright redheaded-freckled girl in my school was so hard.
The boys would constantly tease me! I felt like some weirdo.
But as I grew older my bright red hair turned to an auburnish color, and before I knew it I turned into a bombshell! Don't take what I'm saying as arrogance.
The boys who would tease me now think I'm gorgeous. The girls who I would wish to be in middle school now admire me! Walking down the street shopping will result in older men specifically turning around to smile or wink at me. I've had men also come up to me and say how they've never seen a more gorgeous redhead.
I also know of 2 guys in their 20's who begged me to go on dates with them. (I will eventually...) They claimed "I've always wanted to date a redhead."

I love being a redhead! It makes me so happy .
We DO get a lot of attention, and I'm sure you're very aware of that.
Thanks for your post.

- Amanda <3

Did you struggle with identity issues and self-esteem as a teenager?  What would you say to your teenage self if you were able to sit down and have a conversation with her?  I responded to both of these girls and would love to hear what you have to say.  Maybe other teenage girls will come across this post and will find comfort in your words.  Please leave your comments below!

I came across an interesting little article on the Marie Claire website called, "What's So Hot About Redheads?", and, of course, I just had to check it out!  It starts out with a quote from Conan O'Brien who says, about growing up a redhead, “the insecurity and defense mechanisms are downloaded pretty early.” 

That got me to thinking about myself.  I could certainly relate to the statement.  I remember the hell I went through as an adolescent.  Growing up is hard enough without being markedly different.  While I had no physical deformity or handicap of any kind, being practically the only redhead in a very large school made me feel as though I did.  I would definitely attribute some of my insecurities to the teasing I endured as a kid.

Fast foward to today.  I like my hair.  I like most things about myself - except this damned baby belly, but I can even see the benefit to that - just look at what it produced!  The road to self-acceptance was a long one for me.  As a mental health counselor and a college advisor, I've talked to many adolescents about my struggles as a way to help them through their own.  The best advice I could give would be to be patient.  Learning to love yourself takes time, and each person comes to it on their own schedule.

The Marie Claire spotlight on redheads had a slideshow with various female celebrities, outing who was born a redhead and who was not.  Did you know Lucille Ball was not a natural redhead?  I can't believe I didn't know that.  But, of course, two auburn beauties I love, Juliana Moore and Kathy Griffin, are the real thing.  One of the most surprising pics was of Rose McGowan as a redhead; she looked good!  I think she should go red all the time. 

Finally, I enjoyed reading the comments left by others.  I could definitely commiserate with each.  I cheered for those who had come into their own, accepting their unique beauty, and felt for those who still seemed to have issues from their youth.  Being the secure woman I now am, I felt compelled to leave my own comment - something I never would have done in my teens!