I wanted to take some time to let you know that I'll be taking Everyday Baby Steps in a new direction, because I'm taking my life in a new direction. Brady will be a year old in less than two weeks (Gasp! Can you believe it?). For nearly a year, I've been stuck in a rut that I've tried hard to pull myself out of, and I'm finally getting there.

My Journey

As you know, I've been working very hard to eat healthier, and I've made some progress. I don't know if this has fueled my desire to focus more on my personal appearance. I really don't know what the motivator is, but I know that I'm feeling tremendously better about myself and I want that feeling to continue. I've been having fun with makeup again and taking time to pick out cute outfits each day. I'm fitting into more of my clothing lately; I've still got a way to go, but it's fun coordinating outfits again instead of wearing the same pair of elastic waist jeans or black knit pants every day! Hell, I even get dressed (nearly) every day now.

So I want to take these feelings I'm having from spending time on my personal appearance and encourage other women who may be in the same seemingly never-ending slump I was to do things for themselves as well. It can make such a difference in your life and in your overall outlook just to do a little something for yourself, and it doesn't have to break the bank.

Plans For the Blog

I'll be focusing a lot of posts on beauty and fashion. As you may remember, I've been a beauty consultant for two cosmetics companies in the past, and I love makeup. I'll continue posting how-to videos, and I've got a guest post lined up already to give you some insight from a professional makeup artist's point of view. I also want to devote time to fashion and ways that women can treat themselves to key pieces and feel fabulous. I gotta confess, my online buddy, Audrey, has been a tremendous motivator in my desire to look good. I only hope I can pass some of that same kind of motivation she's given me onto others!

Look for product reviews and giveaways. I've already started things with the great Nimli giveaway listed below; you've still got a couple days to get in on that one if you haven't already. I want to show women they can "splurge" on themselves once in a while because they deserve it. Most of the products and tips I feature will be within an affordable price range or even things you can do for free.

Let me know your thoughts! What do you do to make yourself feel great? Any suggestions for amazing products to try or fashion finds that cater to a mom's budget and lifestyle? I'd love to hear your input. Thanks so much, and I hope you enjoy the changes I'm making here at Everyday Baby Steps.

I wrote a post months ago about coming to terms with being a redhead, and I received a good deal of feedback on it.  As a matter of fact, I recently received a new comment on the post from a 14-year old girl named Jordan. She says:

Heyy,
i love your article, because i can relate soo much.
But unlike you, i still havent excepted it.
i'm only 14 years old, and at school you get teased soo much, not by the girls or some of the boys, but a selected few who think its funny. I don't know, i want to dye my hair soo bad but i know when i do it'll look dumb and i wont go back to the way it was.
I don't think i look bad with it but when on a regular basis i get called stupid names its just annoying considering theres ONLY like 2 redheads in my entire school.
I wish they would stop calling me like ginger, fireman, and etc.
i use to have a great amount of confidence but now everytime someone says something like that a small part chips away. My mom, family, and friends all tell me i'll love it when i'm older and they wish they had it to but honestly i bet you if they had it, they'd wish they didn't, like me. Sorry to be a bummer but its just they way it is.
thanks.

I was very glad that Jordan took the time to find my post and comment.  I hope reading my story helps her to know that it will get better.  My heart broke when I read that her self-esteem has been affected by the teasing she's received.  Confidence and self-worth are a struggle for many women, and for adolescent girls, it's even more of an issue.

On a brighter note, I received an earlier comment on this post from a 17-year old young woman named Amanda who had already come to love and appreciate her difference.  What a wonderful thing to know that she has begun the journey to self-acceptance!

First off, i'm only 17...but I look and act really mature for my age

Growing up as the only bright redheaded-freckled girl in my school was so hard.
The boys would constantly tease me! I felt like some weirdo.
But as I grew older my bright red hair turned to an auburnish color, and before I knew it I turned into a bombshell! Don't take what I'm saying as arrogance.
The boys who would tease me now think I'm gorgeous. The girls who I would wish to be in middle school now admire me! Walking down the street shopping will result in older men specifically turning around to smile or wink at me. I've had men also come up to me and say how they've never seen a more gorgeous redhead.
I also know of 2 guys in their 20's who begged me to go on dates with them. (I will eventually...) They claimed "I've always wanted to date a redhead."

I love being a redhead! It makes me so happy .
We DO get a lot of attention, and I'm sure you're very aware of that.
Thanks for your post.

- Amanda <3

Did you struggle with identity issues and self-esteem as a teenager?  What would you say to your teenage self if you were able to sit down and have a conversation with her?  I responded to both of these girls and would love to hear what you have to say.  Maybe other teenage girls will come across this post and will find comfort in your words.  Please leave your comments below!

I had something exciting happen to me over the weekend.  I won a contest.  You all know I LOVE contests.  This one was a contest by Allison Worthington, also known as Mrs. Fussypants.  See her link down there on my blog roll?  I love her.  She's also the editor of Blissfully Domestic, the online lifestyle magazine I contribute to.

Alli put out a tweet on Twitter last week asking people to submit their idea for a new Blissfully Domestic tagline.  The prize?  A piece of jewelry from her boutique, Fussypants Designs.  When you see this jewelry, you'll understand why I started brainstorming.

I don't consider myself a very creative person, but a cute tagline idea did come to me, so I decided to tweet it to Fussy.  I didn't give it another thought until yesterday morning when I received a message from her saying, "morning. You won the BD tagline contest. Email me your address, OK? I haz bling 4 u!"  Ooh, bling!  I was ecstatic.

Then I realized that I wasn't happy simply because of the prize itself (although I do love beautiful jewelry, don't get me wrong), but because of the other gift Alli gave to me - validation that my ideas are good.  You may remember that I left my previous job as a college adviser due to a negative work atmosphere, with people who really brought me down.  I spent a long time in that working environment, feeling like my ideas didn't matter and wouldn't be received favorably.  I allowed my self-esteem to plummet.

Since leaving my job, I've worked very hard to get back to my former self.  Starting this blog has helped me more than I can express.  Receiving a nod from Alli and the Blissfully Domestic editors that my tagline was the best submission for the magazine means the world to me and helps me to remember that I am a smart and savvy woman with some great ideas.   Thank you so much for choosing my entry and helping me to regain my sense of who I am.

** I will not divulge the tagline yet, as I'm not sure what Alli and the Blissfully Domestic editorial staff have planned for its unveiling.

There is an article in the August issue of O, The Oprah Magazine that I have been contemplating for a few weeks now.  I've been meaning to write about it a while, but other topics have come up.  However, it's still been lurking in the back of my mind, so I've decided that it's something I'm meant to explore.

"YOU Are an Excellent Woman!" proclaimed the headline on the cover.  Well, who could resist picking up the magazine and flipping through it, right?  I've been interested in women and identity formation since taking an Introduction to Women's Studies course my freshmen year of college.  What an eye opener it was to learn about concepts I had always intuitively known and to have them validated by other like-minded women!

Back to the magazine article, titled "Women and the Negativity Factor."  The writer, Aimee Lee Ball, discusses her own personal experience with feeling not "good enough", and she reminds us of a line in the movie Pretty Woman in which Julia Roberts responds to a compliment from Richard Gere, "The bad stuff is easier to believe."

Why?  Even the strongest, most intelligent, spectacular women I know are prone to silly, stupid insecurities.  We tend to let fear hold us back or we add qualifiers to our sentences such as "It wasn't too hard" or "Anyone could've done it".  Why don't women give themselves full credit when receiving compliments?  Why do we worry that our flaws will be exposed?

According to a neuropsychiatrist quoted in the article, "It turns out there's an area of your brain that's assigned the task of negative thinking."  There's also a phenomenon called "the drive for self-verification" involved, in which we desire others to "reflect the beliefs we hold about ourselves".  It's this drive that causes the bad experiences to override the good and makes it easier to believe the negative.

The good news from the article is that scientific findings state the brain is forever changing and that it is likely to adapt to modifications in our negative thinking.  The more we work to turn our thinking around, the easier it will be for our brains to process our experiences in a positive way.  The experts quoted say that a change in thinking won't occur overnight; it will take time to outweigh a lifetime of ingrained experiences.  They liken this change in thought process to that of the change in your body after engaging in a regular workout regimen - just as your body will become toned and lean, your thoughts can become more positive and forgiving.  It's nice to see a scientific angle to the psychological approach I've taken both personally as well as with former clients and students.  I firmly believe that thoughts drive actions and behavior.   The trick is to practice the positive thinking to bring about the feelings we desire.