I went grocery shopping yesterday.  I spent way over an hour in the grocery store.  I usually shop at Aldi and get in an out.  Yesterday, I went to my local grocery store on a mission.  I've written about my allergies to wheat and milk before.  And I've talked about knowing what I must do.  But I've yet to actually do it.

Cutting wheat and milk out of your diet takes a good deal of planning and a HUGE deal of willpower. I used to work with juvenile offenders with drug addictions.  They told me on more than one occasion that they'd rather stay off drugs than give up most of the foods that they eat and love.  I went for quite a while during that period without eating the offending foods.  It was my way of trying to relate to these kids I really had very little in common with, and it worked.  It helped me to see how difficult it must be to give up an addiction when seeing those around you indulging in it constantly, and they were able to see me fighting my own battle and seemed to respect me for it. 

I respected myself, too.  And I'd like to respect myself once more.  The times in my life when I've eliminated dairy and wheat, I've felt great and lost weight.  I had more energy, and it became easier as the cravings ceased.  Many diet plans actually seem to focus on the things I was doing while simply avoiding wheat and milk.  Programs such as Atkins, The Zone, and The South Beach Diet all have varying plans the seem to cut out carbs, white flour, and processed foods.

Lots of newer plans also advocate cutting out a lot of these things.  I just heard about The Eat Clean Diet on the Today Show.  And Living Well With Montel is all about eating natural foods, cutting out processed stuff.  I just read a great article on Gwynneth Paltrow's blog, Goop, that talks about eliminating white foods - white flour, dairy, sugar, and in that order.

I love what the doctor who writes this says about eliinating one at a time.  I bought foods that don't contain wheat and milk, but I know I can't give up the sugar right away on top of the other two.  It's nice validation knowing my instincts were right.  Baby steps, right?

I'll continue this post, sharing with you the items I bought to help me eliminate wheat and milk from my diet.  I'll also talk about the tricks I've learned to make it more doable.

Photo by Jenny Downing

You know how I'm always advocating that we step out of our comfort zone?  Ever since I started this blog, I try to focus each week on doing something different, reaching out to someone new, or taking a risk of some kind.  And it's almost always paid off.  I've received numerous opportunities and have made such great connections with people each time I step out of my comfort zone. I'd like to share my latest exciting news with you.

Do you see the Working Mother logo in my side bar, listed under Where I Write?  No, I haven't gotten anything published in Working Mother magazine.  Yet.  But I am blogging at WorkingMother.com! They have a great Momblog.  I saw that they were accepting applications for bloggers, so I decided to go for it.  I was accepted, and you can read my first blog here.

What do you think?  I'm hoping this new avenue will be fun and will help me in my freelance pursuits.  By the way, I can't believe I forgot to tell you all about my new blog!  It's called Adventures in Freelancing, and I'm hoping it will be a place for other newbie freelancers like me to learn together and share experiences.  Wanna contribute?  Just let me know.  I'd love to have guest bloggers share their knowledge.  Also, don't forget to enter to win one of 8 great prizes for writers. I'll be listing something new each week.  Please drop by and let me know what you think!  And comment here with any good news you've got happening in your life or tell us about ways you've stepped out of your comfort zone recently. Inquiring minds want to know!

Isn't this video a hoot?  It was sent to me by a PR person who asked me to post it here on my blog.  At first I wasn't sure whether I wanted to endorse Momtourage, but after exploring the site, I am enthusiastically in favor of singing its praises.  Besides the fact that the video is just hilarious, the content on this site for moms is beyond compare!

Momtourage is powered by iVillage, an authority in connecting women, so I knew the site was worth looking into.  What I found was fantastic content, everything from great advice to fun stuff for moms to take a little break from realilty for a bit.  I loved it.  There are blogs from some well known folks, like HybridMom, and great articles on topics important to women.

Head on over to Momtourage and look around for yourself.  Also, I'd love to hear about YOUR Momtourage!

I want to share with you all a conversation I had with Dr. Jill Hubbard, author of The Secrets That Women Keep: What Women Hide and the Truth That Brings Them Freedome.  Dr. Hubbard is a clinical psychologist, specializing in women's issues and the host of a New Life Ministry radio show.  I learned so much by talking to Jill and look forward to reading her book.  Here's what she had to say about her reasons for writing the book and the results of her research.

What prompted you to write a book on the subject of women's secrets?

I just announced on the radio show that we were gonna do a secrets blog, and I wanted women to write in.  And they could write in anonymously. We got flooded.  I think I got over 900 responses of women writing in their secrets.  They were heart wrenching.  Knowing that I would read them and that they would share so much was amazing to me.  I realized there was a felt need out there, which got me started on the project.

Why do women keep these secrets?

Even though intellectually we may know something, emotionally it's a very different story.  Emotionally, sometimes we need to be able to hear it or see it to be able to know that other people can identify with where we're at.  Women are so good at comparing ourselves and seeing where we measure up.  We compare our insides to other people's outsides, and it isn't a fair comparison.  Then we isolate ourselves because we don't measure up.

What types of secrets are women keeping?

There are a large number of women out there who suffer in silence, who may not be in a situation that warrants a big intervention but are extremely unhappy.  Especially women who are married, where it's not leading to divorce, but who are unhappy in their marriages and are Christians who feel trapped.  They don't feel like they can do anythign about it or say anything about it.  Women are relational so we view most things through relationships.  So we're always looking to the relationship for everything.  When we find ourselves in a situation where we're unhappy, we point to the relationship.

Another area was in the area of sexuality and with the differnt sexual struggles, different sexual needs between partners.  The typical stereotype is that the men want it and the women don't.  But there's the reverse of that as well as sexual addiction.  There's hardly anything out there for women, so there is kind of that double shame.  Sometimes it even feels more shameful because nobody expects women to struggle with this.  That was one of the biggest surprises to me.

What are your recommendations for women who are keeping secrets that cause them distress?

I think we all carry around with us kind of these little truths about ourselves that we carry privately.  I think you kind of have to examine if they're weighing you down.  There are some things that we don't share with everybody, but they don't necessarily weigh you down and cause you to feel shame.  What are those pieces of truth that cause you to feel shame?  We limit our ability to be real with people and to be all that we can be, and we limit our perspective in life.  When we just get in our own heads, all we have is our own little voice and nothing to bounce it off of.  We need other women because they give us perspective.  It's important to take risk.  Start to explore where are the places, who are the people that seem safe.  Then you start by taking little risks and share something that maybe isn't quite as personal and test the waters.  Maybe it feels too great, so you go to therapy and start practicing there.  Therapy's a great place ot practice.  Or you go to a support group. Or maybe you have a best friend and you start to take a risk.  My main adivce would be to take a risk somewhere.  We're not meant to live this life alone.  When we're not alone and when we connect with people, it brings joy to life.

I highly recommend getting a copy of Dr. Hubbard's book.  Consider the secrets you may be keeping.  What are the effects of keeping such difficulties to yourself?  What's the worst-case scenario if you shared them with a friend or a professional?  Please talk to someone if a secret you're carrying is causing you pain.

Today is Blog Action Day, a day where thousands of bloggers will unite to discuss a sigle issue - poverty.  The purpose of this movement is to raise awareness of poverty and to encourage people to move to action and to contribute in what ways they can.  I really wanted to be a part of this cause, so I did some thinking on the matter.

Which led me to considering my own personal situation.  My family's economic status right now comes very close to falling within the guidelines of poverty.  We receive food stamps, WIC (Women Infants and Children), and free school lunches.  My children receive health insurance benefits from public assistance.  There's a real social stigma to admitting this.  People make judgments so easily and may ask, "Why aren't you working?" or "Why should my tax dollars pay your way?"

I don't know all of the answers to such questions.  With three children, the cost of day care is astronomical.  Even with my college degrees, a job in my field barely pays enough to make working outside the home worthwhile.  Thank goodness for my education and for my experience.  I know I can work hard on my writing business and begin making enough money to end the need for these services.  As a college counselor, I encountered people every day who were working toward the same goal of self-sufficiency, except they were doing all of this WHILE purusing higher education.  I feel so fortunate that I at least have my education behind me.

I'm not able to contribute financially toward the goal of ending poverty, but Blog Action day has a list of 88 ways to take action against poverty right now.  I will be finding items throughout my house to donate to the local Salavation Army.  I also added the Women Rock badge to my site to join in the pursuit to help women claim their rights and to end poverty.  There are so many great ideas listed. What will you do?

I found this wonderful site, dedicated to raising awareness of and ending poverty in our country, Poor People Economic Human Rights Campaign.  You can go there to learn more about their efforts or to donate to their cause.  Please take the time to do what you can in the fight against poverty, both in the U.S. and abroad.  Thank you.

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