I've been silently seething for some time now, and, truthfully, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me. Certain people in my life are very different from myself. And while that's more than okay, what's not okay is allowing their views and attitudes to encroach on who I am. Unfortunately, that's exactly what I've been doing, and I just now realized it.

Actually, I've gone through cycles in which I realize that I've been drifting away from myself, and now just happens to be one of those times. Someone very close to me recently told my toddler son, Brady, "Your mom's a dreamer." I believe this was in regard to the fact that I wanted to look into purchasing a rather expensive camera to shoot our daily lives. My camera's been acting a bit goofy lately, and I've been drooling over the sharp, beautiful images on my friends' blogs. So I thought it wouldn't hurt to do a little research to see what kind of camera might be best for me and to consider ways that I might be able to afford one someday, hopefully not too far away. Is that unrealistic dreaming? I don't think so. This person doesn't even like cameras and believes that taking time to take pictures takes away from living life. That would be a fine philosophy if this particularly person demonstrated a "live in the moment" philosophy in the other parts of life, but that's not the case.

I've worked very hard in my life to overcome past insecurities and fears. Very hard. And it's hit me that I've been allowing the fears, insecurities, jealousies and negativity of others really affect me and my choices. No more. I don't want to live life in scarcity mode. I want to live a life of abundance, despite any financial obstacles It's not about money or physical resources. Life is precious. It's too short for constant worry, for negative emotions.

In fact, two very dear friends of mine have lost loved ones at incredibly young ages. These have been recent, tragic losses. One friend lost her husband at the age of 32. She's now left alone with two children and one on the way. I can only imagine what life must be like for her. My very best friend just lost her 23-year old nephew to cancer. He was a beautiful young man with the most contagious smile. He married his high school sweetheart just days before he died. The long-time renovation of their home had just come to completion. This should have been the beginning of their life together. Now she's facing life without him. So unfair.

So if I choose to dream big and try things that may be a long shot, so what? So if I want to give my children all the experiences and everything I can possibly provide them, so what? I've got the time, the health and the resources to give it a go. I'm going to do everything I can to live a happy, fulfilled life. I don't want to waste any of it being resentful of what others have or bitching about the fact that life's not always fair. And I refuse to let others, even those closest to me, push me in that direction.

Thanks for enduring my rant. What have you vowed to change in your life recently? Please share.