It's official - I accepted a new full-time job, and I will be taking over the role of primary wage earner in our family. This is something I've been considering for a while now, but I've been rather torn about the idea. Women today have so many choices about what they do for a living. At times those choices seem stressful and guilt inducing, rather than liberating. That's certainly been the case for me.

In our household, I hold the college degree. This is something I'm proud of. It's also something that's contributed a great deal to my sense of guilt over the years. As the degree holder, there is a wider availability of jobs out there for me. Jobs with potentially higher pay and better benefits. But as a woman and a mom, my heart has told me my place has been at home with my babies. So that's where I decided to place myself when I became pregnant with Brady. I was fortunate enough to be with my older two their first three years of life, and that's truly where I wanted to be with Brady. I was willing to make sacrifices to do that.

However, now the time has come that I am ready to get back to the workforce. To put my degrees to use and to stop feeling like a burden to my husband. In case you don't know, Bill is twenty years my senior. He's had more than his fair share of work over his lifetime. It's time for me to contribute financially to our family in a more significant way. Truthfully, though, I'm not sure that four years ago would have been the time for Bill to take on the role of stay at home daddy. Now that Brady's nearly four, he and his daddy are able to spend more fun times together, telling stories "out of their heads" or playing games, and the big kids are more independent as well. Now seems like a good time for us to switch roles. I'm ready to give up the chauffering and cleaning up the potty training accidents, and he's ready to give up some of the pressure associated with being the breadwinner. It's all good.

But I haven't even told you about my job yet! I have two pretty spiffy titles - Behavior Specialist Consultant and Mobile Therapist. Basically, what I'll be doing is helping families to learn more productive behavioral techniques in dealing with the day to day things life throws our way. It's a challenging job, but I know that it will be rewarding as well. I've done this kind of a position in the past, and there's lots of flexibility and creativity involved in the position. I love that. Did I mention the benefits are amazing AND affordable? I couldn't pass any of this up.

Am I nervous though? Oh, hell yeah! Now it's my turn to take on that pressure of bringing in the income. It's been a while since I was in that position. Truthfully, though, I miss the sense of autonomy that comes with earning a full time income. It will also be nice to derive the sense of identity that comes with working a full time job.

I'm not giving up my blogger identity, though. I love it too much. Being a blogger also allows me creativity and lets me connect with like-minded people in a way I never have. It's fun and exciting, and I'm simply too damn addicted to the lifestyle and the community to ever give it up. I'm kind of selfish. I want it all. I want my fun side gig AND the responsible day job. I know so many people who are working their asses off to make blogging that full-time gig, but for me, I really struggled with that. I think I finally realized the reason. Like the person who loves to cook, but doesn't want to be a professional chef for fear of no longer loving it, I do think that blogging was a bit like that for me. The pressure of making it my full time gig and HAVING to earn a living from my writing was too much pressure. I found it hard to love the writing process. I truly think I've made the decision that will work best for me and for my family. I sure hope I have.

On a side note, this whole post reminds me of the book Good Enough is the New Perfect by my friends Becky and Hollee. Check out this guest post they wrote for me on reinventing your career. I guess that's really what I'm doing now.